Saturday, February 12, 2005

poem...

Disclaimers: I do not own any of this...just thought I could post it here....

"Perpetual Present"

I try to memorize him
with the soft pads of my fingertips.
Closing my eyesand slowly tracing
the cheekbone's rise and gleam
the moist, fragile skin around the eye
the jawbonesquare, angled, tight
roughened by the days relentless growth.

I will my heart into my fingertips
and move them through the soft curling
hair on the broad chestrising and falling
rising and falling over the heart.
My hand moves down the hard belly
And I find
I cannot remember,
in every detail,
the line of his face
I touched only a moment ago
.It has already begun to fade.

And I had wanted to hold it forever.

He strokes my arm
runs his broad fingers
down the naked curve of my back
over the smoothness of my thigh
draped across him.
Is he trying to memorize me also?

We cannot hang on to this moment
Even knowing it is the last moment
.Life pulls uslike a great tidal waves
weeping us forward
dragging us into the perpetual present.
Our memories of this moment
will change and be shaped
by new desires and disappointments.

And I will forget I knew even this

~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Meron pang isa...

Disclaimers ulet: I don't own this piece. It's a part of a short fic I've read just now....It's the part I really love...

I always thought it would be me who was going to go first. Watching you, you were so strong…unlike me, who was weak. I needed you so much it scared me sometimes. I was afraid of what I would do if you left me. I prayed you wouldn’t.I was weak. I couldn’t find the strength to even imagine what I would do without you. You would have scoffed and said, “ Silly pup, I’m not going anywhere…” But today as I watch you lie on the bed, I wonder if someone up there had heard you and decided to prove you wrong. For once.

I wish you were right. I wish…you were here with me.

All I can feel is the emptiness.

I am bewildered nowadays. I always seem to see you. My heart hurts…it doesn’t want to let go. It’s looking for you….but my eyes can’t find you. Where are you?

Are you hiding? You like teasing me but don’t be cruel.

Yet today as I watch you drift, I know…it wasn’t a game. You weren’t hiding. And I still couldn’t find you.
You seem so wrong in that bed. It was the wrong bed. You were supposed to be at home, curled up with me after our lovemaking, our limbs tangled and the cooling sweat on our body, not with all those tubes attached to you.

I still remember the last words you said before you drifted away.

“ Don’t cry…”

“ I’m not gonna cry over ya, you jerk! Ya promised me so you’d better come back or I’m gonna tell the whole world that you’re a wuss!” my voice wobbled dangerously. I didn’t want to hear the wobble. I had to be strong.
The loud shrieking of the machine pierced through the silent air.

What was that sound? It was so loud…

I never got to say goodbye to you…you simply…went. Leaving this cold empty shell behind. I woke up facing a white ceiling. Again. What am I to without you? How am I to carry on? I see your smile in my mind. I can’t cry anymore.

Softly I lock the door in my mind. I’ll be with you forever inside…I won’t ever have to say goodbye now.
I can see you smile brilliantly, your cerulean eyes no longer cold. Holding out a hand, you utter your familiar cocky words, “ Hey pup, you gonna sit there all day? Get your lazy butt moving…” And I gladly do so, feeling the warmness of our palms.

It was summer.

~~~part of the story 'Etch'. A bittersweet tale that made my day....

posted by HakunoKage @ 1:11 AM




that which doesn't kil me only makes me stronger